Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Irrational Fears

So in my last post I touched upon my fear of needles and injections. It's a fear I have had for as long as I can remember. I'm shuddering at the thought of them as I type this post.

This fear for me is totally irrational. Mainly because in my Student Nursing days I could quite happily pull myself together enough in order to inject a patient (Thankfully). I have also got tattoo's in the past. Not quite the same as an injection, but this is one thing that gets thrown at me by Nurse's.
"If you can get tattoo's surely you can stand an injection?"

My reply generally consists of:-
"Getting a tattoo isn't delving a 3/4inch needle into my body to inject foreign substances or steal my blood!"

I usually tend to win with this and hear nothing more about the matter.

So any rate, I'd pretty much managed to train myself out of this fear. Or so I thought.

One night I'd been "dreaming" about having to give the dog his injection. I'd done it fine in the past. (The dog is an insulin dependant diabetic and needs injections twice a day). Anyway in this dream whilst injecting the dog I had managed to have some major accident with the syringe and ended up nearly on deaths door (god knows what I was injecting him with).

I woke up after this dream, and instantly knew my fears had come back, maybe even threefold. Shortly after my mobile phone started calling and it was Mother. For some reason I instantly knew what it was about.
"Can you do me a favour and give the dog...."
"No mum I can't"
"I can't Mother I'll collapse."

She left it at that, when she got home she gave him his injection, and then proceeded to pick me up off the floor.

So it was back. The fear I thought I had grown out of.

Question. Do we ever actually grow out of fears?

If anything I have more fears through getting older. Take butterflies and moths for instance? I once 15 or so years a go (Oh Lord! Old!)  used to run after them and catching them in my bare hands. Then I grew fearful of them. This I think is a learnt fear. My childhood best friend whom was a few years older than me was absolutely terrified off moths/Butterflies. I used to see him shit his self, and I followed suit. It has been conditioned in to me to be scared of them, and right now I just cannot shake the fear of them.

I remember when my brother was younger (about 4 or 5), my mum and I took him into what I believe to be a green house, this green house was actually a butterfly house.

I don't think I have ever screamed so loud in public before, or run out of somewhere so fast. Luckily, my brother didn't learn this fear from me.

He has how ever seem to of learnt a fear of water through my younger sister.

Friday, 6 April 2012

Dental Nightmare

So it would seem history does indeed have a habit of repeating itself. In this instance I am talking about having a long unannoucned haitus from blogging. I don't even fully know why I have been away for so long. A whole month to be exact!

I managed to complete another task on the dayzero project.

I have always been on the outlook for a new dentist. I don't like the thought of having minging teeth. Only I have had one major thing stopping me find one sooner. The usual fear of the dentists chair. The other week I HAD to find a dentist and ASAP. One of my back lower wisdom tooth had litterally crumbled (Fun Fact: Wisdom teeth have less enamal [souce: My dentist]) so I registered for one that had been recommended to me by several people.

On arriving to my appointment all the staff where ever so friendly which helped to ease the the situation.

The Dentist herself, yes I have a female dentist, a some what beautiful one too. Was also very nice and even said "we aren't all mean". So she looked into my mouth and wanted to take the wisdom tooth out there and then.

I think she could tell that I wasnt too keen on that idea. Firstly, and I had explained this to here that it was the first appointment to dentist I have ever attended alone, it was only a few days before that I had dragged Mother to the doctors with me as they wanted to take bloods. I need support. Literally need it. Or I may end up in a heap n the floor. Not only that but to have it taken out would cost nigh £50. £50 I couldn't really afford right there and then. The main reason though was needing the support of someone holding my hand whilst the procedure took place. So we opted for the filling choice.
Lay back, open your mouth, closure eyes and relax.

I did as I was told.
Just a little prick now.

WHAT!?!? I was still having to endure a needle in my mouth. I quivered, my lips moving at what must of been the speed of light, almost like when a cartoon character is on a fair ground ride and their lips are being blown everywhere from the speeds.

The dental assistant grabbed my hand, as my eyes began to roll. I think if it had not been for the fact I was sat in the chair.

Small chit chat happened as we waited for my mouth to go numb. Just the general bollocks you talk about in awkward situations.

I laid back down, with my all new pair of blue visors on to protect my eyes from the enamal that she was about to grind down in my mouth. 5 mins into the procedure the drill stopped dead and the dentist went "oh".

Not something you want to hear a Dentist to say!

After 5 minutes of fumbling with the machines and 2 more attempts, they decided we had to change rooms.

I started to panic incase I needed another injection. She assured me I wouldn't. Several times.

It's an irrational fear really that I have of needles. A future post in the making maybe.

Anyway after changing rooms the rest of the procedure went without any further glitches. I have to go back this month sometime for a proper examination as they treat this one as an emergency, touchwood I've had no problems with the new filling. I just hope that it holds. Cause if not I will need it removing completely. I think if it wasn't for the beautifulnes of my dentist, I would of been put of completely from going again. Watch my next appoinment be with some old man!!